Emma Marlane - A Most Precious Gift

The Call. I lost track of how many scenarios played out in my head of where we might be when the call came, what we might be doing, if it was a good time for us or not or if we would be in the middle of something. When the call came though we were simply dishing up our dinner. The phone rang, I saw who was calling on the caller ID and all of a sudden I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer or not, I just knew, and in that instant of knowing every emotion you can think of flashed through me and in me. By the time the phone call was over the overriding feeling was one of shock. We waited for such a long time and at times it felt like it would never happen but then all of sudden there it was, everything our hearts had been hoping and praying for. Thus began a whirlwind of a week! Let me share with you the story of out little Emma Marlane and how full our hearts are of God's goodness, perfect timing and answers to prayer...

Tuesday, June 5th. The day we got the call. We were told that we had been chosen and that the baby was due on June 27th. The plan was that we were going to set up a time to meet with the birth family and get to know each other and see how everyone felt about the situation and go from there. (Before I go any further I want to tell you all that I am going to do my utmost to not uncover the birthmom (hereafter referred to simply as K) in any way, shape or form. She is a precious girl who needs lots of love and prayer.) We then received a call a couple of days later saying that the meeting was going to take place on Monday, June 11th in the evening and the birthgrandparents (B & J) would be there as well. So we had the weekend to prepare at least a little bit! Up to this point we had nothing except for a few sleepers and a play yard! We were feeling a little panicky and extremely overhwhelmed. I know without a doubt that God was chuckling at us! Chad and I are very similar and we like to have all of our ducks in a row and be prepared! We did a bit of shopping and lots of talking as we wondered about the birthfamily and the baby and what was going to happen and how we just felt like it was right. There were some circumstances surrounding the pregnancy and such that we needed to discuss but I know that for both of us we just knew this was right. On Saturday morning Chad told me that he thought we needed to go out and buy a car seat, just in case. Sears was having a sale too and so we went shopping again. The rest of that weekend was packed as we attended a party for one of our youth, went to church and were part of a photo shoot with our youth group. We had agreed to not tell anyone, except our parents, that we had been chosen until we had a chance to meet with the birthfamily. It was so hard not to say anything to our youth who have prayed for so long and been waiting with us!

On Sunday just before 9:30pm we received another call that truly changed our whole world...K was in labour! 2 weeks early! We might be able to bring our baby home the next night! There most definitely was no sleep for me that night! We called our parents again and then all of our siblings to let them know what was going on. That was fun! :) Chad went to work the next day instead of sitting around and just waiting and I did some running around trying to find more necessities and taking Finlay to the dog kennel. We were supposed to be at the hospital by 3 and of course just before Chad left work things kind of exploded there. Funny how that happens. He was a little later than planned getting home but we still made it to the hospital on time. Before I tell you about meeting everyone for the first time let me share a few things with you...

When Sheila, our social worker, called she told us that this birthfamily had requested to see profiles of Christian couples. That meant so much to me! A part of me had so been hoping we wouldn't be chosen because we have a dog or wear glasses or like to travel. I wanted it to be deeper than that and when Sheila told me I was so deeply grateful and it just resonated deep within me. Chad and I have both always known, although we never discussed it with each other, that our adopted baby was going to be a girl. Don't ask how we knew but we both did, and not just in the past couple of weeks but for as long as we have been on the waiting list and actually for me it has been for as long as we have been married I knew our first would be a girl. So of course I wasn't surprised when Sheila called on Monday morning to say the baby was a girl. She also told me that we didn't have to feel like we were going into an interview. Once you have been chosen the birthfamily has access to your in depth home study which means they know more about you than pretty much anyone else in your life. She told me they had read through it all and were in love with us and wanted to meet us. Another huge blessing! She also told me numerous times that because of some of the circumstances surrounding the whole situation there is no way the baby would be taken back. Wow! I had so been dreading the 10 day period where the birthmom can change her mind. Blessing upon blessing!

Monday, June 11th. We got to the hospital right on time and waited for a bit with Sheila downstairs and then she took us up to meet the birthfamily and the baby. We had no idea what to expect and yet I can honestly say that I had such a peace through this whole thing. Kind of like being in the eye of the storm when all around you is crazy but you are at peace. As soon as we walked in the room we all started visiting and joking around and laughing and there was almost a recognition of spirits I guess you could say. Birthgrandpa (B) and birthmom (K) had both been adopted themselves and almost right away B told us that he really wanted us to know that to them this wasn't "giving up a baby" it was presenting us with a gift. What an amazing gift! B had been holding the baby but he gave her to K and asked K to hand her to me which she did. The baby was beautiful! Absolutely perfect! Truly a gift from heaven above. Chad held her after a while and when he had her B asked Sheila to leave the room and he then did something I had so been hoping would happen but hadn't voiced. He asked if he could pray with us. He laid hands on Chad and the baby, I was holding onto Chad with one hand and K's hand in the other and B prayed a blessing over us and gave us his blessing. As soon as he was done I told him that I had so badly been hoping that would happen and he just laughed and gave me a hug. We talked about how we are all part of God's family, all adopted and just what a gift that is. It was like we were family in a strange kind of way. We ended up staying at the hospital for 4 hours. K decided to go home that night which meant we could bring baby home that night. We had to wait for the lawyer to come and for K and baby to be discharged and all of that. We spent quite a bit of time all of us in the hospital room together but we also let B and K have lots of time with the baby. I did have chance to ask K a couple of questions and found out that she knew as soon as she found out she was pregnant that she would be choosing adoption and when I asked her why us she said that a big reason was because I am going to be a stay at home mom and that meant so much to her as her Mom did the same with her. K was truly a sweetheart. I could have just sat and talked with her and hugged her and prayed for her.

Chad and I had a name picked out before we went to the hospital but I have always loved the name Emma. We kind of stayed away from it because it is always so high on the popular names list and we didn't want to use it because of that. A part of me though still would have loved to use it. When we got to the hospital and saw the paperwork that K had filled out she had put the baby's name down as Emma and it turns out it is also K's middle name! It was my great-grandma's name as well. So Chad and I talked about it and agreed to keep it. It is like it was always meant for her. Her middle name is, of course, my Mom's name and it is also my middle name. Quite often when an adoptive family changes the baby's name they will keep the name the birthmom chose as a middle name and when we told them we were keeping Emma as her first name they were so very happy and it made me even happier that we decided to keep it. Emma means "whole, complete" and it is so fitting as she has made our family whole.

The time came for B and K to leave the hospital and we again gave them some time with Emma. When they left we all hugged each other and K and I cried together and my heart broke for her as I watched her have to turn her back on this perfect little gift from above. What strength it took to do that! What love for her little girl! We left the hospital shortly thereafter and have been home with our precious Emma for a week now.

Until today I haven't really had time to sit and think and process and feel everything that has happened. It was such a whirlwind of events and there were people coming and going and we were taking her places to introduce her to people and I got quite sick and on and on and on. Today is our first full day home by ourselves and I have noticed a contentment in my heart that has been missing for so very long. I am a mom. I have a beautiful little girl who looks at me with her big brown eyes full of adoration and trust and I just want to be the best mom a little girl ever had. I think about my Gramma and how much she would have loved Emma and vice versa and how thrilled Gramma would be that Emma is named after Gramma's mother. I think of the miscarriage I had last year and how if that had never happened I would never have known Emma. Yes, I still wish I could have known that little baby but I know that baby is with Jesus and Gramma. I think about all of the tears and waiting and longing and praying and how they all just melted away when I held her in my arms. I think about how God's timing is perfect and I am blown away by His entrusting me with this little life. It feels in some ways like Emma has been here for so much longer than just a week and as I pondered that today I realized that it is because she has been in our hearts for such a long time. We never knew her but we loved her and were just waiting for the day when God brought her into our lives. I think about my husband and what an amazing Daddy he already is and how much his little girl loves him already and all of the special times they are going to have together and the relationship they are going to have. I think of dresses and curls and painted nails and teas and parties and cuddles and kisses and muddy handprints and giggles and poopy diapers and joy and tears and love and I am overhwhelmed. God is so good. So very many prayers were answered the day we got the call. So many lives changed forever. I already don't know what life would be like without my beautiful daughter and it is the desire of my heart to raise her to know and love and serve the One who orchestrated all of this. I also so hope that she and I have the same kind of relationship I have with my Mom. Emma is truly a gift to us all.

Please keep K in your prayers as she moves on to the next stage in her life and deals with the grief and separation this has brought. The family has left all of the contact decisions up to us and we hope and pray that sometime in the near future we can all get together and share God's goodness. They were so right when they said they were giving us a gift. How profoundly beautiful. I cannot even begin to express my gratitude and love to the God we all serve.

I am going to go cuddle with my beautiful Emma now and tell her just how amazing she is. Truly a most precious gift sent from above.